- me: bb whys there an unlit cigarette in ur mouth
- her: that me metaphor
oh you had a bad day???????? WELL 2014 years ago the dinosaurs went instinct on this very day. think before u speak
…..sweetheart, I think you are mistaken.
listen sweetie(: im a dinosaur scientist i know what i’m talking about
Cop: haha spell attic
Cop: haha its funny cause you wont be seeing any titties
Cop: you’re going to fucking jail
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner
pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms
I just ate a whole bag of those, no joke
u piece of fucking shit that was the love of my life
"you’re an adult now"
"you need to choose a career"
"you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"